Oral Hygiene Is Very Important and You Don't Want to Miss it....

Just wanted to share my thoughts on random topic. Well, it is not a regular random thought but it is a reminder for me. I have been very a hygienic person ( a little bit obsessive ), I wash my hand after I touch some things that I think they are dirty. I take my shower thrice a day (especially when I exercise or I feel hot), I brush my teeth at least 3 times a day (I have changed my toothpaste to the one with enamel protection). I floss and use mouthwash along with it. I carry a hand sanitizer bottle in my purse. In short, I will do whatever it takes to make myself bacteria-free. However, I was still clueless about the importance of oral hygiene to my overall health. 

One day, I was watching a news and there was a feature talking about oral hygienic and its relation to throat cancer. It stated that some research proves that people with poor oral hygiene are likely to suffer from a throat cancer. Well, It makes sense because your mouth is a place where you can find bacteria around. The remains of food consumed and residue from your cigarettes ( if you smoke) inside your mouth bring some bacteria and other harmful chemical in contact to your body. Therefore, some other things might tag along when you don't brush your teeth regularly. Most people think that brushing their teeth alone is enough but it's not enough. Your brush cannot reach the hidden place in your mouth and it cannot reach the gaps between two teeth. You need to floss and use mouthwash every day. The remains of your food can lead to bad breath, teeth decay, gums infections, tartar and even cancer. The gums infections can make your teeth loose. Oh my, I couldn't imagine if I was a toothless woman. Oh, before I forget, you need to choose no alcohol mouthwash. Products with alcohol might give you an instant freshness but it will dry your mouth and it makes you have a bad breath and worsen the problem if you already have the bad breath problem.
My favorite products are Colgate Slim Soft Charcoal toothbrush,Colgate Sensitive Toothpaste, Oral B Complete Satinfloss and  Freshmint Colgate Plax Mouthwash.

Anyway, don't be lazy to floss and brush your teeth on daily basis. Cheers!

 

Walking with God through Pain and Suffering

You desire to know the art of living, my friend? It is contained in one phase: make use of suffering.

-Henri Frederic Amie

                                                                                                             

I have been searching for this kind of book for quite some time. As a flawed human being, I have very limited understandings to comprehend my pain, my agony and my sorrow. I kept asking God, " why me?" " why this happened to me?" when something bad happened to me. I merely blamed God or other people to unfortunate moments in my life. I was so clueless and naive. I have learned that my life is not as smooth as other people's lives but I also have a wonderful life that is far better than some people's. It makes me very grateful. As a Christian, I understand that there is God to rely on and God's plans to me.  However, a true comprehension toward what suffering is, the reasons behind it and how to cope with it, is still a vague concept to me. I told myself I needed something that could help me understand. One day, I went to a book store, I was hoping to get a recipe book and I bumped to a book with a very interesting tittle "Walking with God through Pain and Suffering" (2013)by Timothy Keller.Suddenly, I thought " this is it!", this book was something that could help me answer my shallowness ( well, I used to be so anxious about many things). I think God has answered me through this book.

I found this book very practical and helpful. It has been arranged to chapters that  help readers to find the answers of their problems. In the prolog, the author helps to specify the readers' urgency. For example, when the readers have a specific urgency to cope with their problems immediately they can just skip the first chapter and go straight to chapter 2/3. I decided to read this book from the first chapter. Basically, this book is a guide-book to help people overcome and comprehend their suffering and pain.How cool is that?

I recommend the book to anyone who is questioning, doubting and searching for answers of their sufferings. This book explains deeply about sufferings, so the readers can comprehend fully and take some reasoning to it. It will shed some light to very difficult yet common questions in human's lives, the questions about sufferings. I presume when people understand the reasons  behind their sufferings and the form of sufferings they will be able to move forward to cope and to endure the sufferings. You know, the confusion and not knowing how sufferings operate and take form make us in a dark place. It makes us bitter and sometimes some people even abandon their faith.
The book also gives solutions and practical steps to handle and endure our sufferings. It is like making a cake where you can follow step by step. I know, some people might find it ridiculous when you can formulate ways to deal with your sufferings. However, this kind of book is needed when you feel  alone or  hopeless. Sometimes, speaking out about our pains and sufferings is not enough. We need something more personal and practical to guide us through our difficult times. This book not only gives systematical ways to handle our sufferings but also it gives real-life testimonies of people who have been through difficult times. I think those examples are beyond my so-called difficult miserable life, I am grateful that God has touched me with their life stories and I am grateful for who I am. All in all, don't lose our hopes when we encounter adversities and difficult times, let be grateful and rethink what God has done for us. His blessings have been given to us since we were born. Remember, there are people who endure more difficult adversities than ours. I remember, a priest once said," As long as we are healthy and alive, we can still make some efforts but when we are terribly sick we are restricted".

My rating is 5/5

How to Recover Deleted Posts in Blogger

Arrrrgh,,,,You accidentally pressed a wrong button on your computer after writing a long post on your blog.And, your new post was deleted. Don't be panicked.
If you are using Blogger like my blog. You can go to this website, this is the link (I am glad that I found it):

http://www.mybloggerlab.com/2013/02/how-to-restore-recover-your-deleted-post-in-blogger.html

Good Luck! next time don't forget to save your posts before you publish it :):):)

Killing Jesus ( The Nazarene's History)

Hi Everybody,
I hope you have a wonderful day!
I bought myself another book to accompany my last vacation in Indonesia. Yes, I went to my beloved country for Christmas holiday, I was happy to meet my parents and my little brother. I met some friends as well. Anyway, I downloaded my Killing Jesus to my kindle before heading home. I was reluctant to read it in full version. Before I decided to download it, I had tried to read the sample version. I was like " oh Gosh, I can't handle this, this too heartbreaking". Killing Jesus is a history book based on Jesus Christ's life. The fact that it is a history book with historical facts make me gloomy. Well, I am a sensitive person so what I can say. The book is written by Bill O'Reilly and his friend, Martin Dugard. They are very inseparable apparently, they have been teamed for many publications. I heard that they are going to make another history book about WWII, I can't wait to read it.Killing Jesus has been in the  New York Times Best Seller list. This book has the same title as Stephen Masfield's  "Killing Jesus", same title but different content... maybe ( I haven't read the book yet). Killing Jesus is a famous book because it causes some controversies among its readers.  For instance, some  people think it is a blasphemy because you can't explore God by depicting historical facts. God is holy so you can't give your thoughts which are not based on biblical matters.I mean, Bible is also a series of historical events and it was written by chosen people which had personal thoughts of Jesus Christ and His teaching. I don't try to defend the authors but I think they merely try to give a new perspective about Jesus Christ. Jesus is a very influential  historical figure after all.Even, according to a new internet research Jesus is the most important person in history that ranks Napoleon second and Muhammad third.  I think the authors expected the controversies to happen. Controversies are good publications, aren't they? Okay then, I will give you my short review about . It will not be a long review because I am not a spoiler.

Killing Jesus

The book is written  to show the historical background during Jesus' life. The authors want to give factual descriptions about Jesus' life , it is to show the readers that Jesus' lived in a very difficult period under Roman empire and the corrupt lives of Jewish leaders who played a important role in Jewish society at that time. Shortly, Jesus lived in a period of crisis that led unfortunate Jewish people to suffer and to be oppressed. They lived under constant fear of an unjust system and ruler. It made them fragile and didn't have a refuge. Their souls longed for a savior that gave them a genuine freedom from their fears. The authors address Jesus as an earthly figure not Jesus as God. They don't mention Jesus as Jesus Christ but Jesus as the Nazarene. I think it is a good way to keep factual accuracies. Although, the author tries to delineate the factual matters of Jesus' life, they don't neglect biblical matters in the book. It seems they want to incorporate every fact that they have found to support biblical verses and vice versa. Jesus was a figure that brought a new hope to an oppressed society where the adversities seemed to be eternal.

Jesus, the Nazarene in this book is depicted as a person who is very normal as a human being. He can express his sadness, anguish and anger. However, he has characteristics that make people want to listen and follow his teachings. He is a very special person with a serene charisma yet his words are firm and powerful. His words and figure are consolations for dejected people. People who are outcasts to the society like  a prostitute or tax collectors. The Nazarene comes to give them a new hope and break down boundaries. He doesn't alienate them but embrace them with compassion.

The book recounts the life of Jesus  from his birth to his early death in crucifixion. The fact that this is a history book makes the depiction more vivid. The authors narrates the events through depictions of characters involved in and influence  Jesus' life. For example, they describe vividly  a depraved life of Tiberius , a Roman Emperor during Jesus' life. They also give generous parts to describe other characters like John the Baptist, Peter, and more. It is a brilliant effort to take the readers into  a deep comprehension of Jesus' life. I like how it narrates because it is not only give me a new knowledge about the events but also it give me a new threshold to understand the difficulties that Jesus had during his life. The authors are successfully bring the historical events to the readers' minds using sharp and dramatic details. Concisely, the book brings new details which the readers can't find only from reading the Bible. The end of the book provides short details after Jesus' death. It is stated that there are no evidences that point where Jesus' body was buried, it was simply an empty tomb. The details also mention the characters involved in the Jesus' life.

My verdict to this book is I really enjoyed reading it but it makes me contemplate about the whole story. It makes me grateful about my life and I feel blessed to have Jesus Christ in my life. I think if you want to understand about Jesus as a historical figure you can read this book. It is a neutral book that can be read by anybody, it is not a Christian themed book. It is like other history books that you can find in Amazon or book stores. The fact that I am a Christian made me more sentimental after I finished the book. My rating for this book is 5/5 because the details in this book are refreshing and novel.

How about Baking?

I am a very luke warm person when it comes to my ultimate hobby or passion or interest....
I have been searching my real passion, it seems that I have a lot of interests that keep me busy and occupied. I like various things. So, here is the story. I want to have a new hobby that can make happy ( financially) hehehe....
I like cooking and I don't really have a formal education of cooking. Never do I take cooking classes, I learn to cook from cooking shows and random food blogs. My favorite tv channel is Food Network. I created and improvised my own dishes according to my healthy meal plans. I don't eat certain foods and I am very concerned about they way I cook my food. I don't fry my food. I am a simple yet picky cook and eater.I like to eat cakes moderately because I don't have  a sweet tooth problem. I also enjoy making my own cakes. The problem is to bake is to infuse science into your food. It needs right measurement and  methods to create a delicious and attractive cake. All those things, need to be learned in a culinary school. I believe some people are talented cooks, I met some of them. However, baking is another level of cooking, it is more difficult
. I am still thinking about taking a formal course on baking. I hope someday I can make it a reality. Cheeers!!!

Killing Kennedy :The End of Camelot

Hi everyone,
I am going to write a review on Killing Kennedy (2012) written by the famous  Bill O'Reilly and his author friend, Martin Dugard. My interest in reading fictional books is now declining. I am more into history books because I find that some fictions are alike these days, they have similar themes. In short, I am a bored reader. I need a new threshold to the world where I can not find in fictional works. Killing Kennedy is the first history book that I write a review on. People have raved about this book since it was first published. Even, it is filmed by National Geographic Channel. I was kind of late to jump on the bandwagon. The book made its place on New York Times' best sellers list. I was enticed because I was curious about the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy (JFK) since it was a very shocking moment for Americans those days and one of the biggest mysteries in the history. Many theories of his assassination have emerged since the day he was murdered.I believe the speculations will still be  going on.

JFK's life and his family have been a center of attention for so long even after his murder. He was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald at 12:30 p.m,on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dealey Plaza, Dallas, Texas. It was a very terrible news for Americans who were under constant fear of Cold War and other foreign threats. The domestic commotions also serious threats for the USA during JFK's presidency. Shortly, those were tumultuous moments for Americans. 

Back to my review, Killing Kennedy is one of the books which talk about JFK's assassination. You may find different books which have the same core. You may think that history books are boring to read and maybe you feel intimidated by history books. You can give this book a try because the authors deliver the history in fictional-like narration which makes it easy and smooth to read and to comprehend fully. As a new reader of history you may need to consider it. The authors try to convey the story from two point of views, the first one is from JFK's point of view and the other is from his assassin,Lee Harvey Oswald. This gives readers a closer and personal glimpse on the tragic event.
I like how the authors deliver the events to their readers. 

The facts are very important matters in history books, the authors have gone to deep investigations to shed some light on the murder. They have made some efforts to investigate and interview some people who were related to the event. You can see the list of some reliable sources in the end of the book. Personally, I like this book and it has fulfilled my expectations. It's a worth reading book, you might find  some new information  about JFK's life when you read this book even if you have read about his assassination. I will not mention those details because I want you to enjoy the book and I don't want to ruin your curiosity.

Rate:
4/5 stars.

 

Happy Belated New Year!

Good Lord,
I have been procrastinating for months! ( 9 months without any posts!)This is my first post after a while. I hope you all have a wonderful year.
I am grateful for the things I had last year. I thank Jesus for everything! my family, my friends, health and  many more. I had a wonderful year of 2013 with its bad and good things came with it.
Many people try to make some resolutions when they come to the beginning of a new year. I am not that kind of person but I do have some hopes and wishes this year. I am a very content person it keeps myself happier because I don't have to be very ambitious and miserable when my hopes and wishes don't come true. I always think that many people have tough adversities out there and it is not my place to whine about my life. This year I am trying to be a better person for sure. However, I have some resolutions about my life. Here some of mine.

1. To be closer to God
As a human being, we have ups and downs. It makes my faith to God fluctuate. I hate myself for being that kind of person. I want to be a person that always has a faithful heart to God. Closer to God does not mean to be a fanatic person, but a person who is closer to God has a tolerant heart and loving heart that can accept differences without judging other people.
2. Be a healthier person
I am very concerned about my health, I am a kind of person who always maintains my healthy weight and diet. It is just because I want to be healthy, it is very expensive when I am sick. Healthier me is my long term resolution.
3. Learn Spanish and Japanese!
OMG, I have to do both. I need to learn Spanish if i want to move to the USA for sure and I love JAPAN. I can get enough of Japanese related things.

Those are my simple resolutions for this year. I hope you all can make all your wishes come true. GBU all :):);)

Discretion is really needed ( my view on social media )

Hi everyone,
I hope you had a great day!
I know maybe most of you are bored with this topic but I really need to share my opinion. It is bugging me when I see some people can't use the social media (facebook, twitter whatever) wisely. 
I read in many articles and watched some news about cyber bullying and the effects of social media o and bla bla bla.
I know the social media has brought many benefits to our lives but it can turn into disasters if you don't use it as it should be.The worst result is when the cyber bullying can claim lives ( I know you have heard about it a lot)
However, you should understand that dim witted people will not consider the bad effects of social media misuse. Either they will trigger conflicts or hurt somebody Else's feeling. Nothing is good as the result.
Some people use the social media to share their freedom of speech but do you know that it can hurt somebody else's feeling? For instance, there was a girl who worked in a reputable company who criticized an event with racist remarks (people who live in SG and Malaysia know the case). As a result she was dismissed from her company. There are more examples about the matter.
In my opinion, you need to filter the thoughts you gonna share because cyber world is like a public area that can be seen by many individuals. You need to understand the values and rules of sharing your thoughts. If you don't want to get into troubles don't play with fire.If you don't want to be criticized don't criticize people.If you don't have good things to say don't say anything at all.  Especially, when you have worked in a company or you are searching for a job. Your cyber identities will determine you as a person. Don't forget that once you expose your thoughts in internet, it will be there forever. It is like scars you can't erase.
All in all, we need to be wise people when it comes to sharing our thoughts in public space. It is not a short term effect but it may ruin your lives.

Gillian Flynn's Gone Girl : A Book Review

Finally, I finished reading a book from my reading list. Well, it was not a super fast reading I suppose, it took me weeks to finish the book.I only read the book when I had to commute on the bus or train. I downloaded the book on my kindle, I was curious about this book because it is highly raved about. Even, Sarah Jessica Parker reads it :):) not as famous as Fifthy Shades of Grey (I might try to read it in the future) but it is highly recommended by some readers.If I am not mistaken, this book will be taken to the motion picture :):)

The storyline is based on a marital relationship between Nick and Amy Dunne. Amy Dunne disappears on their fifth wedding anniversary framing Nick Dunne as a cold blooded husband who kills his wife. The story is told from Amy and Nick Dunne point of views leading the readers to question and portray Amy and Nick Dunne as two wounded people in a troublesome marriage. They have their own mistakes and weaknesses that lead us the readers, understand how painful and how miserable relationship they have as husband and wife in an unhappy marriage life.
They loses the fervor of love, marriage is just a weary dreary place. They feel trapped.Maybe some of us understand the situation, the author takes the readers to explore Amy and Nick Dunne's feeling to each other. They were deeply in love and after 5 years together the obstacles and their true selves are leading them to a cold dark place where they find each other as total strangers.
When we read the story, we will be taken to question about who the bad person is,Amy or Nick Dunne.We barely can be the judge, because we can't see black and white we only see greyish conclusion in each their action.

They simply hate each other but they also can't live apart. The relationship is merely like a drug that makes them addictive.The twisted mind of Amy Dunne makes the story more intriguing from the beginning, she has kept dark secrets that turn the situation up side down.
According to the author,

“This is the dynamics of a marriage gone wrong. How two personalities come together and come apart. I like the mystery genre as a way of telling that story,” 
“It is a very relatable story for all of us who have been in long term relationships or marriage, although it does go beyond the parameters that hopefully we all deal. So many people have told me they have touchstones with different parts of the story.”

In short, the author tries to convey the common problems of long term relationships that everyone has. It becomes an interesting topic because the author elucidates the common problems through a well-written psychological thriller. She also keeps the authenticity of colloquial conversations through characters' language. It simply makes the story more real and close to the mind of the readers.

Conclusion:
I will recommend this book for killing your boredom while you are taking public transportation or sun bathing by the beach. Actually, I was expecting more about this book, I am a traditional reader who likes more details. I understand that the lack of details because the author depicts the story through two point of views (Amy and Nick Dunne).
Personally, this book teaches me how to see the differences that may occur in a marriage life. As a long term commitment, marriage is not an easy breezy Sunday afternoon. It takes a hard work to keep the marriage as a unity. Also, people can change swiftly without knowing it, the summer has ended.

Rating: 4/5

Happy Reading Y'all:):)

So,what's going on?

Sudah lama tidak menulis, tiba-tiba rasa rindu menggelitik...menyentuh jari jemariku untuk merangkai kata-kata.
Aku akhir-akhir ini sibuk dengan kegiatan-kegiatanku, pekerjaan, olahraga,dan kadang-kadang memanjakan diri sendiri. Sudah hampir 2 tahun aku merantau di negeri orang, ada duka ada senang, semua aku syukuri. Setidaknya aku bisa sedikit membantu orang tuaku di rumah. Sedikit berbagi senyum dengan mereka. Yah,aku memang tidak menjalani hidup dengan mudah, seperti kebanyakan orang yang dengan nasib baik, memiliki banyak kemudahan-kemudahan, entah itu faktor orang tua ataupun keberuntungan. Semua aku syukuri, karena dengan bantuan Tuhan dan kerja keras aku mampu menyelesaikan sedikit  demi sedikit masalah masa lampau. Kini,aku agak bisa menarik nafas lega. Terima kasih Tuhan....
Boleh dikatakan, manusia tak pernah puas dengan apa yang dimilikinya. Aku juga seperti itu, tapi sedikit-demi sedikit aku mampu mengatasi rasa kekuranganku dengan rasa bersyukur. Sekarang, hidupku lebih terasa damai,walau terkadang aku juga mempunyai keinginan-keinginan yang masih aku pendam. Tekanan-tekanan sosial selalu saja mengintip tapi aku berusaha menyikapinya dengan positif. Bisa dikatakan, hidupku sekarang lebih terasa santai dan mengalir tenang seperti air disebuah mata air.
Saat ini aku masih berkutat dengan pekerjaan lamaku, mengajar. Jujur aku tidak terlalu menikmatinya,entah karena bosan atau memang hatiku sudah tidak merasakan tantangan.Aku kemungkinan besar akan merubah karirku kedepan, aku sekarang sedang mencari sekolah hukum yang sesuai dengan keinginanku. Untuk setahun kedepan aku akan kembali merasakan bangku kuliah, mungkin aku akan memulainya musim gugur ini. Ini merupakan persiapanku untuk membangun kehidupan baru di Amerika. Aku rasa,American Dream masih memiliki daya pikatnya.Walaupun, Amerika yang sekarang tidak sehebat America yang dulu.
Aku hanya mampu berdoa dan berusaha,,semoga semuanya berjalan lancar.
Ada beberapa sekolah hukum yang masuk dalam kriteriaku, perhatianku untuk sementara tertuju pada UC Berkeley dan Duke University. Malam ini aku akan berkutat dengan laptop dan internet untuk mencari informasi sebanyak-banyaknya karena tak terasa tahun ajaran baru sudah di depan mata.

Awwww....(my journey to my first marathon)

Hello Everyone,
I have trained for my first marathon since January (one of my New Year's resolutions). The event is scheduled in December this year (still months from now). Singapore has an annual marathon event. I am hoping to join the event.Running is one of my hobbies, I find it addictive. I will be upset if I can't run every day, well I take a day-two days off in a week to rest my legs. It is a little bit crazy, isn't it? but running helps me to gain my self esteem, my happiness and improve my health. In some ways, it also reduces my stress.Running in a long distance is not a new thing for me,I have enjoyed running for two years, before that I was pretty much a couch potato(no kidding!). Everyday, I run 5-10 km, 5-6 times a week. I usually run in the evening because I am kind of busy during the day. I spend 1-1,5 hours to exercise, it is not enough for training to a marathon, I need to increase my strength and endurance. However, I will gradually increase my fitness level. You know marathon is like a 42 km race,it is very far but I am optimistic. It is not a light challenge I need to focus because It takes a lot of efforts. I might participate in some running events before the big deal comes, but I need to be very picky since they are not free events and usually the events are very far from my house.
I will be updating my progress until I can run in my first event. Wish me luck!

Kegelisahanku

Pagi ini aku bertemu dengan seorang tetangga, dia adalah seorang perempuan yang memiliki mimpi yang mulia, mimpi untuk membangun masa depan yang lebih baik. Dia berjuang sampai ke negeri seberang untuk membahagiakan sanak saudara di kampung halaman. Dulu ketika dia berangkat, asanya meluap-luap tak terbendung.Mimpi-mimpi itu tampak nyata dan dekat, hanya selemparan batu katanya. Semangatnya hanyalah untuk membahagiakan sanak saudara di kampung halaman...

Mimpinya sederhana, mimpinya tidak setinggi anak-anak zaman sekarang, yang melulu ingin menjadi gemintang, yang ingin menjadi orang-orang sukses bergelar, yang hanya ingin gelimang emas yang menyilaukan mata, entah bagaimana caranya yang penting orang tahu mereka orang berpunya. Dengan harapan yang sederhana dia rela menyingsikan lengan baju untuk bekerja. Katanya, itu adalah semangat baginya.

Ternyata mimpi-mimpinya itu menguap bak embun tertimpa sinar matahari, kenyataan tak seindah hayalan. Ternyata,orang-orang dengan pikiran egois membuatnya tersingkir, tak didengar dan bahkan merampas hak-haknya sebagai seorang pekerja. Mimpinya direnggut, apa yang harus dia dapatkan sebagai hasil kerja keras tak dihargai dan terbayar. Sesuap nasipun tidak terhidang untuknya.
Banyak hal yang dia sesali, dia ingin pulang tapi dia ingat sanak saudara di kampung halaman, apa kata mereka nanti...pikirnya. Dia menahan deritanya, berkata pada kalbunya, tahankanlah batinnya.
Dia teringat kembali,sanak saudara di kampung halaman,,

Aku tertegun, betapa tidak berperasaannya manusia.Aku heran, seharusnya mereka merasakan pula penderitaan yang sama karena mereka juga lahir, tumbuh dan hidup di Bumi yang sama.Rupanya, nurani mereka sudah tertutup dengan lendir keegoisan dan keserakahan.Mungkin hatinya sudah lumpuh, sudah tak mampu merasa.
Hati kecilku meratap, gelisah...tapi aku pun tak berdaya. Seharusnya, sang pengayom mengerti derita mereka yang berjuang, seharusnya sang pengayom tidak hanya bergelut dengan citra yang sudah terlanjur busuk...bah! percuma, awam pun sudah tahu mukanya coreng moreng oleh dusta dan penghianatan. Kini, siapa yang sanggup mendengar suara lirih terpinggirkan? Kegelisahanku ini, rupanya akan terus bersamaku...

If You Forget Me

"I want you to know one thing. You know how this is: if I look at the crystal moon, at the red branch of the slow autumn at my window, if I touch near the fire the impalpable ash or the wrinkled body of the log, everything carries me to you, as if everything that exists, aromas, light, metals, were little boats that sail toward those isles of yours that wait for me. Well, now, if little by little you stop loving me I shall stop loving you little by little. If suddenly you forget me do not look for me, for I shall already have forgotten you. If you think it long and mad, the wind of banners that passes through my life, and you decide to leave me at the shore of the heart where I have roots, remember that on that day, at that hour, I shall lift my arms and my roots will set off to seek another land. But if each day, each hour, you feel that you are destined for me with implacable sweetness, if each day a flower climbs up to your lips to seek me, ah my love, ah my own, in me all that fire is repeated, in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten, my love feeds on your love, beloved, and as long as you live it will be in your arms without leaving mine" by Pablo Neruda

To Someone who I loved: 
Once, I was a wanderer in a foreign land,where I could feel you inside my heart. 
I was so numbed by your stripes, It was the most beautiful thing in my life. I saw your shadows behind a yellow tide, no words but your existence was so real. I kept asking myself, " can i hold on this impalpable  sensation?". I left it behind, yet you came into my dreams telling me about the foreign land where we shared our old days together. 

A Recluse (when everything seems to be futile)

Hello Everyone,
I hope you had great holidays, I know it is a little bit late but anyway, I hope everything went well in your lives. It has been a while, I haven't written for quite some time. I went home for Christmas and New Year's holidays. I spent wonderful times with my family in Indonesia. There was no internet connection, so literally I was detached from the cyber world. I was happy I got to meet some family members. Shortly, it was ahh..mazing holidays. Tonight, I stayed up late, maybe because I drank a lot of caffeine earlier or some other reasons that I don't know. I wanted to share my thoughts about my little journey in my grand journey toward brighter future ( I hope so).

I have realized many things in my reclusive days, I know how to treasure every little thing I have, I have learned to accept my vulnerabilities, and the most wonderful thing is I learned to entrust my life to God. I have been in many difficult situations, I fell many times,but His hands always put me back in place. I care no more about worldly profane things, my real objective is not just when I live my life in the world but my ultimate objective is to stand before God and be together with Him in eternity.
Many people may think my thoughts are only excuses of never ending failures. I can't rule the presumptions out. Well, we all seek consolations to overcome our painful journeys. Maybe,  every people has different ways, it is not all wrong.  I have learned to overthrow my problems through God words'.

I went to my first Sunday Service in 2013, the Pastor delivered a very influential sermon. It was the very first week in 2013, and the sermon was about the book of Revelation? it is a very uncommon. You know, as Christians we view the book of Revelation as a book of symbols because it is very hard to comprehend, moreover the content of its chapters bring  chills to your spines. If you try to portray the descriptions in its chapters you probably would be terrifying. I bet that it is not your favorite part in New Testament.

Basically, the sermon tried to remind us about the end of the world and how we should be preparing to face the time. The sermon has opened my eyes that my life is just a short journey, the real life is in the afterlife, it arouses my understanding about how God is coming very soon and without anyone notices. Definitely, as Christians, we don't want to be left alone and hopeless. Once, He decides our place, it would be our last journey. It is very correct if we want to pursue successful lives but it doesn't mean we have to abandon our spiritual objectives. As I stated before, our lives in the world are just short trips. It doesn't last forever.

The God's time is approaching, I have a faith that my perseverance is a way to understand God's love and also when the time comes I have a prepared heart to bow before God. I also believe God won't let me get through 7 years of tribulations before His second coming (if I can make it there). I believe God will welcome me in the air upon His return to Earth. It is called Rapture, when God saves you from morose tribulations.
Therefore, we have to be prepared and ready for His returns from now on.
There are some scriptures that help to understand and be ready for the rapture: 
1. Don't care about worldly standards and values, Luke 21: 34
2. Keep meaningfully occupied , Luke 19:13
3. Keep watching and praying , Luke 21:36

Well, It is important to keep in mind that our lives are not only worldly values,there is a place that we all aim to go. A place where we can't feel any sadness and agony.Don't worry all bad things are not forever (sometimes, I lose my hopes but I quickly put my trust to God).
I hope everything will be going well in our lives and I am getting sleepy by the way.
GBU all,, have a nice dream..

To Him Who Loved Me...

I woke up with tears on my cheeks, I had the same dream that has been appearing in my sleeps. It felt like I experienced a deep agony and remorse all over again.Even I still can feel the anguish of grief ,just now when I am awake. A few years back, somebody told me that I meant the world for him. The world that he wasn't able to reach yet he kept longing for my existence. I didn't know him, a man who looked at me in a different way, a sweet way beyond my expectations. A man who saw me as an exquisite persona, I didn't know him. I was driven by my struggles, I was overwhelmed by never ending foolish quests, I didn't even know how to express and feel any happiness. At the end, the only thing left was my emptiness.

I still reminisce that day, the day that turned my life. A young guy in my school approached me, he handed me a piece of paper. He wanted me to open it,there were a few words written on the ivory colored-paper that I held. I always remember the words, " Don't be sad because I always watch over you, your pain is my pain". The guy in front of me took a deep breath, " He wanted me to give this because he couldn't, he is not here anymore" ," what do you mean?"I asked." He passed away this morning" he whispered. I felt a cold breeze in my neck, my heart pounded. " I don't understand" I stared at him, " He was my friend, he loved you but the situation was difficult for him, he used to wait for you, think about you and talk about you", he murmured. " But, he couldn't reach you, he was too frail too scared with his feeling" I could see the grief in his eyes. I was spacing out, I barely pulled myself together, I was baffled by his words, puzzled by the small note that I held tightly with my palm. " I am sorry, I couldn't tell you before now everything is too late, I wish I had had a courage to tell you, I wish I had not listen to him ,I wish I had not made a promise to him and just told you everything" I could hear his voice trembled. I looked at him, I observed his brown eyes, I could see a deep remorse there." He loved you, but He didn't have time, He didn't want you to suffer and burdened by his illness, it was hard for him, the only thing that kept his spirit was you, he came to this campus just to see you walking on the garden's paths, I remember his vague smile when he looked at you, I am sorry I didn't tell you earlier" a pause. " Don't be sorry, It wasn't your fault,you tried to keep your promise,I know you were a good friend to him, I am sorry, I don't know about this" I tried to select my words carefully. He shook his head," You did your best" I continued. " I went to the hospital where he stayed, I thought it was my regular visit, I thought he was getting better after his last treatment" I saw an emptiness in his slanting eyes. " You know when  sick people look better, when you think everything is doing fine, sometimes it is not true, they just stay for a while to comfort you to say goodbye and to make sure you are okay when they are gone , I knew it but I didn't want the negative feeling took my expectation. I was praying so hard, but God had His plan, I think he doesn't feel the pain any longer, I don't want to see his suffering...somehow I feel relieved" I barely heard his last words. "Can I see him?" I said.
We went to his funeral, It drizzled throughout the day, as if the world had suffered the same pain as we had experienced. It was a very gloomy Wednesday.
I saw a gallant young man with a cheerful smile in his picture, a young man who was eager to live his life into the fullest part. I cried because I couldn't do anything to comfort him, I wasn't there to share his pain. I was dragged by a penetrating sorrow.

Even now, I am still able to perceive the moment, a moment when I first heard about him. Those puzzles take a form in my unconscious mind through my dreams. A dream that always reminds me about how I was loved, It makes me believe that somebody always watches over me, that I am not alone to face hardships...I will value my life as he always wished.

Singapore, 11/21/2012....

Christmas Shopping Spree

Oh Gosh,,,Next month is already Christmas (the best day ever).
Pantas tiap jalan ke mall selalu nemu yang namanya dekorasi Natal...pokoknya rasanya happy.
Tapi yang bikin pusing adalah belanja kado buat orang-orang tersayang. Bagaimana yah mengatur supaya tidak ada pengeluaran berlebih?jelas untukyang satu itu akan membuat isi dompet menipis.
Mungkin pertama kali yang harus dilakukan adalah menetapkan siapa saja yang akan diberi kado untuk natal nanti, kemudian menetapkan budget, ketiga harus mencari cara supaya budget yang telah ditetapkan tidak membengkak, yang terakhir itu agak susah memang:(

Anyway, yang penting kadonya berkesan dan memberi setitik senyum pada orang yang kita kasihi. Tidak perlu mahal (walau sekarang untuk membeli barang yang bagus harus mengeluarkan uang lebih). Dan yang penting rasa ikhlas dari diri kita untuk memberi. Mari berbagi kebahagian dalam suasana Natal...jangan lupakan orang-orang yang kita kasihi dan orang-orang yang menderita karena Tuhan Yesus telah memberikan kebahagiaan bagi kita....kalau sudah terasa suasana Natal ingin rasanya cepat-cepat pulang ke kampung halaman dan berbagi dengan keluarga dan orang-orang terkasih....Happy Shopping....

Zombie: The Captivating Story of Darkness

My mind started questioning "why zombies have been so popular in the last few years?" I remember my first encounter with the living dead when I watched George Romero's movie "Dawn of the Dead"followed by "Day of the Dead". I have been fascinated by the undead stories ever since. My current favorite zombie show is AMC's TV show " The Walking Dead". It does bring chill to my spine. I even planned to do  a zombie walk, but I was late for the registration.I think it can be a proof that I am one of those zombie fanatics.

Unlike Vampire and Were Wolf who are pictured as good looking yet mysterious creatures, zombies are pictured as resurrected corpses who eat human flesh and have terrible looks. I admit that they are so disgusting. I might runaway when I meet one of them.Do you know that zombies were real? I couldn't believe it at first, but every story has its origin. When you look at Oxford dictionary, zombie can be defined as, 

a corpse said to be revived by witchcraft, especially in certain African and Caribbean religions.Informal a person who is or appears lifeless, apathetic, or completely unresponsive to their surroundings.

According to the definition Zombie, it is interesting because the term was initially, an element of the Haitian African-American religion known as Voodoo . In this context, the term zombie is used to describe a deceased individual who is revived and has their every action governed by a sorcerer or bokor. The revived subject is thought to have no will of its own and is said to remain in a ‘zombie-like’ state.This purposefully leaves a passive easily-controlled animated body – the zombie – believed to be created to provide free labour on plantations. It is believed that the bokor captures and stores the victims soul (or zombi astral) in a jar or bottle, which can be either be used to strengthen their powers or sold on to clients as a good luck charm.

Anthropologist Wade David  claimed to have identified the ingredients of the bòkò’s zombification powder which supposedly included tetrodotoxin – a naturally occurring neurotoxin found in some animals, like the pufferfish, which can cause temporary coma-like states.

Actually, Zombies are rich with symbolism and metaphors. Not merely, a theme of a movie or TV show.Zombies of the Haitian Voodoo variety represent a loss of cognition/ consciousness and also a loss of free will. What is it except these things, after all, that separates us from animals. By "controlling" another person and eliminating that persons ability to make choices, let alone engage in conscious thought, the "controller" has reduced that person to the level of an animal and has robbed him of his humanity. A distinct parallel might be drawn here between cultures that have promoted the use of slavery (such as our own) and zombie films. To fear the possibility of zombies, then, is to fear enslavement.

In modern days, Zombies embody the human fear, not only one single kind of fear but it takes it forms in different kinds of fears that we face in our everyday lives.They come to embody the human fear of our own dead tissue. We, as humans, go to great lengths to obscure the remains of our dead, especially our loved ones. If someone we know dies, our mental image of that person stops at the grave.When we build a picture in our mind's eye of that person, it is not the rotting corpse or skeletal remains that we see-even though that is the person's current status--but the memory of that persons conscious life. It is no mistake that we bury our corpses "six feet under" so as to eradicate the ugliness of decomposition. 

Therefore, to confront a zombie is to be reminded of our own mortality. It, as is proven in Night of the Living Dead and its ilk, is especially terrifying to encounter, let alone be attacked by, the physical image of one's deceased beloved. Being that our mortality is something that we try to decorate with tidy rituals and outright denial, zombies serve as a painfully striking reminder that we will all eventually return to the same stinking earthly essence from which we are born.

Night of the Living Dead and its counterparts also illustrate the fear of widespread apocalyptic destruction. It is not a coincidence that these movies appeared mostly at the height of the Cold War paranoia that was taking place earlier this century. Much like the atomic bomb, zombies are unleashed in a chain reaction, each devoured corpse arising and looking for more human flesh to consume. As the zombie count increases exponentially, they cover more and more distance until they overtake massive amounts of land area. Indeed, by the end of Romero's Day of the Dead (1985), the final installment of his "Dead" trilogy, only a small militia-esque band of survivors is remaining in the United States. Consequently, they choose to relocate to an uninhabited island in the tropics as the U.S. becomes a barron wasteland, populated only by the walking dead. At the conclusion of Return of the Living Dead (1985), the U.S. government chooses simply to erase the area populated by zombies with a nuclear missle (ironically, the process of human reanimation was enacted by nuclear radiation to begin with and thus, in this reciprocity of events, not only is the fear of holocaust represented, but also the metaphorical enactment of full-on nuclear war). 

Zombies also represent widespread annihalation in the form of plague-like sickness. The implications here are basically the same as they are with nuclear apocalypse, but on a more personal and intimate level. Romeroesque zombies multiply by infecting their victims through the mixing of bodily fluids (saliva, etc.). When a person is attacked by a zombie, that person, in a process similar to that enacted by vampires, becomes a member of the "undead." As is the case with the cold war similarities, the fact that the majority of the Night..-style zombie movies arrived during the 80s during the height of the AIDS epidemic is difficult to overlook.

After all, Zombie is not only a fictional story but it also brings our understandings to our fears, that probably is a good preparation to us to encounter unexpected events in the future....

Skinny, Light Complexion,and Pointed Nose

“The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It's the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” 

Audrey Hepburn

Next Destination

Wow,,
I am going to the USA next month,time flies...just can't believe. I have been dreaming about it since i was a child. I'll write about it once i get my words.
Well, actually i really want to visit Japan and Italy, but i'll make sure my money is enough to pay my living expenses there. I absolutely have to save more.
Oh, i almost forgot my South East Asia countries that i want to visit, Cambodia and Thailand. I kind of afraid to go to Thailand because the earthquake struck yesterday, i feel uneasy.Before that, there was some terrorist issue.
I don't think i can go to Japan this year, i already have a big trip to the USA. Moreover, my brother starts his school this summer. A lot of things to think about. Well, i also need to get a new job (if i am lucky), since i really want a steady income.
This year i also won't go to Bali like i usually do. I've been missing it.
I miss the beaches (although i don't like sun bathing), but i really like easy breezy afternoon, when i can spend my time reading a book under a tree by the ocean. It was so relieving.
Well, this year is not too shabby, i am gonna visit the USA (i bought the ticket already),and also i'll stop for a while in Seoul, South Korea. I am not into K'pop fever so i don't find it really really attractive. But anyway, at least i can see Seoul.
That's all for now...i will be updating my trips and for sure a lot of pics...

My Dream, I Just Have a Simple Dream (Please Lord, Let It Be)

God could not be everywhere, so he created mothers. – Jewish Proverb

Everyone has a dream that they want to fulfill,so do I. I have a dream that i want to share with my beloved people around me,it's not superficial dream it's not complicated either. I grew up in a simple family, but my parents always wanted the best for me. Therefore, i am trying my best for them. The only spirit that i have to struggle is my family.especially, my Mom. Everyone thinks her/his mom is the greatest hero his/her life. Apparently, i have the same opinion with them. I really want my Mom to be the happiest person as possible. I want to shower her with joys and happiness. She has been struggling her life for almost her whole life.

My Mom's childhood was not too happy like other people had, she had to take care of her siblings. She is the oldest girl in her family, so back then she had to provide daily chores to her entire family. My grandparents were busy with their works. My Mom had to take care of her brothers and sisters (she has 2 brothers and 1 sister). If I am not mistaken she also had to take care other family members who lived with my grandparents. She needed to provide food,to take care of their laundry, to clean the house and more. Her siblings were helpless. They were just lazy and spoiled.
On top of that, my granny was too stingy to give them enough money to eat.She was a cruel lady. Even now, she still has the traits.
My Mom used to give her own food to her siblings. Morever, she had to give up her degree just for letting her siblings go to school. I think her sacrifice was magnificient. Although, she did all those hard works, her siblings don't appreciate it as a good deed to remember, they act like brats. I just can't believe it, they sicken me with their selfishness and unrespectful manners toward my Mom. How cruel it is! Is a right thing to give after her sacrifice?. I just want God to give me a heart to forgive. I don't want to turn my life into a botomless hole of hatred. It's just not me.

She gave birth to me when she was very young, so i think her entire time is only for other people's well beings. I am thankful to have such an amazing Mom. Shortly, my Mom only lives to take care of other people, she doesn't have her own times to be a whole happy person.

My only dream is so simple, i want to make her happy. I want to give what she really wants that she didn't get. I will work so hard to pamper her with wonderful things that she can get, because she deserves it more than anyone else in the world. I will let her not to suffer. That's all. It's my dream, i don't want to be the most powerful, the richest, and the most succesful girl on planet Earth. I just want to ask, what she really wants ,what she really needs to be a happy Mom.

Sometimes, to make her happy according what i think is not exactly what she really wants. I am still searching for it...I Love you Mom..